Get Outta Me

Or:  “The One Where I Babble About My Surgery Today”

In about 45 minutes we will be leaving for the hospital.  I’ve honestly been watiting for this for several years now.  I’m a little nervous, but mostly excited and anxious to get it over with already.  Get this crap out of me.

There hasn’t been a lot of emotional stuff to go along with this surgery.  I’m sure it will hit me at some point this morning, but so far I’ve been dealing pretty well.  The kids are handling it well too, at least I think.  Big D is being very supportive and I am not sure where his head really is, if he is worried or whatever he’s putting up a pretty good front.

I did have  a “moment” with J this morning dropping him of to school.  First a bit of background.  J loves his after school program.   I mean he LOVES it.  Lex is usually the person who picks him up after school, and while she could go get him as early as 3:30 or so, if you get him that early he gets PISSED OFF.  He needs to be there until at least 5:30 to get a good amount of play time in with his friends before he is ready to come home.  So, whenever there is occasion for him to leave early, we always be sure to prep him ahead of time, so he doesn’t get angry at whoever is picking him up.

This morning I was letting him know that it was likely that he’d be picked up early and that his Nana and Papa might be with Sissy to get him and then they would all come to the hospital together to see me after my surgery.

Normally the prospect of seeing Nana and Papa makes him very happy, but apparently he picked this precice moment to get emotional about my surgery.  We’ve been talking about it for weeks now and he has really not paid much attention.  Occasionally he’d ask, “Mom, is today when you go to your doctor for your surgery?”  Other than that … nada.

Well, he got very quiet going into school and just sat at his little table and looked down.  The girls at CAS asked if he was unhappy with the breakfast snack choice, but I realized that he was sad, or worried, or something, about me.  I quickly gave him another hug and told him to have a good day, that it was going to be a great day and that I’d see him after school, just like always.  I quietly explained to one of the girls that I was having surgery today and she just nodded and went about getting J his cinnamon toast.  I said bye one more time and left and it was all I could do to not lose it right there. Gah!

So, other than that, things have been going very well working up to today. We leave in a bit.  We will meet with the clinical trial coordinator and I will sign up for that.  We will register and be taken up to the surgery floor and then we will wait.  And wait.  My surgery is scheduled at Noon, but I’ve been told there are two “big” cases ahead of me, so I’m sure it will not be noon when I have my surgery.  I’m already hungry (and I never eat breakfast) and I would seriously consider killing a person for a drink of water.

So bye for now.  Hopefully you will get to enjoy some lovely drug-induced nonsense after I get home and I’ll let you know how it all went.  Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll get a copy of a video of my surgery to share.

Seriously.  I am going to ask about getting a copy.  The sharing part I’ll think about later.

See you on the other side!