Sun Shines on My Soul
the sun shines through the window
specks of dust dance and play
living joyfully on the bright beam
they taunt me in my winter doldrums
I want to dance with them
so carefree and happy
the sun gleams off the snow
bright rays pierce through the cold air
too intense for my eyes to behold
they break through my bitter melancholy
I close my eyes to absorb the warmth
my heart smiles and sings
the sun transports me to another world
a magic carpet of heat and light
taking me to sandy beaches and soft lawns
I frolic in the surf
I like in the fragrant grass
content in memories of summers past
my soul is warmed by the sun
Memories of My Father
Looking back on my life with you
brings memories of varied emotions.
For years you were told to stay away,
but you did not.
Pictures of parades and softball games fill your albums,
albums I did not see for many years.
Years of hurt were washed away
in an instant.
Years passed and we became closer.
We worked together,
and lived together.
We became friends.
My drinking buddy and dart teammate,
we grew closer than most would have predicted.
Then I received the call,
that changed all of our lives.
Seven years have passed
and I miss you more than ever.
Time has not diminished the heartache,
and I wish you were here.
Our team won the championship
and your Little Bit is not so little.
Our old hangout is gone
but a new grocery store has gone up.
Babies have been born,
friends have passed.
Time continues on
and I am trying to allow you to do the same.
I will teach my kids to laugh and love,
how to throw darts and to love all things Irish.
We will cheer for the Buckeyes
and play golf in the sun.
We will listen to good music
and read great books.
We will be loyal and caring.
They may not know you,
or remember you,
but they will live as you did.
They will talk of their grandpa,
who lived in the memories of their mother.
One day they will meet you
and find that I did you no justice.
Until then, I will try
to help them know you.
And then I will not miss you alone.
Flip
Pour a small amount,
same for everyone.
The starter signals,
the game begins.
Cheering, chanting, laughing.
A mess is made,
fun is had by all.
Flip that cup.
Tears
Falling,
warming my face,
smearing my eye make-up,
liquid emotion from my eyes,
they fall.
Often,
when I am sad,
a poignant lyric heard,
as I watch a powerful scene,
they show.
Sometimes,
I laugh and cry,
conflicting emotions,
appear simultaneously,
clashing.
Endings
that are happy
can cause them to appear
and I feel just like a schoolgirl
again.
Daily
I think of dad.
His memory appears,
they pour, falling like a torrent.
My tears.
The Song
The song begins,
lifting my soul to new heights
I hear your voice.
Emotions flowing forth,
rivers of peace to envelop my heart.
My eyes close.
Not tight, but loosely relaxed,
listening to my muse.
Why Bother
You ask for help,
you shut me down
You ask me to come,
I am ignored
Empty promises.
Wasted words.
Your arrogant demeanor
speaks volumes.
Replacing false kindness
with the truth.
Lightning
Lightning in the sky
White flash, jagged, powerful
Gone in an instant
In My Mind
In my mind,
you are there.
A permanent resident,
living in memories,
with me every moment.
I feel your touch.
Soft hands on my back,
soothing as the sun upon my face.
Warm lips meet for gentle kisses,
savory softness melting inhibitions.
Strong arms pulling me close,
quiet sanctuary.
Make me feel beautiful.
Anticipation overcomes me.
Excitement rushing through me,
deluge of emotion out of control.
Counting minutes until the next encounter,
fall leaves drifting slowly one by one.
Intoxicated with thoughts of the last.
Making my days more bearable,
keeping my insecurity at bay.
You are in my mind.
My welcome tenant.
Stay.
Music
Melody and harmony
meet and intertwine
moving my soul.
Melancholy dissonance,
manic joy,
my heart laughs and cries
A Day Without Expectation
I awake much like every other day.
No fanfare, no trumpets,
no choir of angels.
Another day starts before the sun.
The bed is more inviting than the office.
I get up anyway, duty bound.
Shower and make up.
Do I see the sun peeking.
Drive to work and sing along with Ella.
Drink a Diet Coke as I fight traffic,
but I do love this song.
My day begins to brighten as the sun begins to rise.
Power up and log in.
Too many messages and a full inbox.
Open soda number two, someone brought donuts!
The bright rays start to shine through the window.
Checking messages.
A welcome invitation brings a smile to my lips.
Unexpected happiness and anticipation begins to warm me,
like the hot sun now blazing in the sky.
Working and keeping busy,
the day passes painfully slowly.
Thoughts of evening plans taunt my concentration.
The yellow sun creeps across the sky, mocking my anticipation.
Day ends, shut down, remove invisible shackles
holding me back all day.
Bolt like a wild animal, released from captivity.
The sun begins to set, warm red glow to match my soul.
I arrive to my sanctuary, the door opens
Worries of the day melt with my inhibitions.
Joy, happiness and excitement ebb and flow
as the sun falls below the horizon.
Drifting to sleep.
Memories of the day replay in my mind.
The common becomes uncommon like the difference between day and night.
Sunrise. Sunset.
